Happy Hallowe'en, dear reader! The night of witches, bitches and ghosts with goolies.
It's all bollocks, of course - but at least it gives me a chance to play a bit of spooky music - like this old fave from the vaults...
However, there's one tradition I always uphold at this time of year...
...it's time for the clip that scares my dear sister witless, every time:
{{{evil cackle}}}
It is our dear friend John-John's [dare I say it? - 65th] birthday today!
Our little gang - of course - had a "gathering" to mark the occasion on Saturday, but...
...he is "ABBA's Number One Fan", after all - so how about an old, old favourite mash-up to mark the occasion?
Many happy returns, you old queen!!
A loved-up couple are taking a gentle evening stroll through the mud, mulch and slimy twigs covering every path near their house.
Lauren Hewitt and Jack Brown went walking to enjoy the romance of autumn as well as risk going arse over tit and falling into a muddy puddle or prickly hedge.
Hewitt said: “We haven’t checked the weather forecast or worn appropriate clothing. I’ve got on a very expensive white cashmere jumper and Jack’s wearing brand new trainers.
“However, it’s great to get out in the crisp October air, and if that means potentially slipping on some wet leaves and sliding into a dirty stream, so be it.
“The autumnal aesthetic of the photos I’m planning on taking for Instagram won’t be as good if they feature Jack being put in an ambulance with a fractured tibia. But it would make a hilarious TikTok so it’s swings and roundabouts really.”
Brown said: “I’ve seriously considered proposing this evening. But if I kneel down, there’s a decent chance of sticking my knee in a pile of dog shit that’s been camouflaged by leaves. And I don’t love her that much.”
Of course.
Autumn: my most-loathed season of them all.
Yep. It's here again. Another joyful week in work beckons...
News on the weekend of the departure of Mr Jack Jones - a singer so laid-back and middle-of-the-road he made Andy Williams seem like Lemmy from Motorhead by comparison - for the Tiki Lounge in Fabulon has given me a chance to play one of his more famous numbers.
It's not the godawful misogynistic Wives and Lovers. On this Tacky Music Monday, it could only be this!
Have a good week, dear reader...
After a long day's drinking, eating and gossip yesterday at our gang's fave Wetherspoon's pub The Penderel's Oak in Holborn, in honour of our friend John-John's forthcoming birthday, needless to say today has been a quieter affair.
I managed to get two black bags' worth of fallen leaves, sycamore seeds and crud swept up yesterday before I headed to the pub, so it was just a case of basking in the lovely sunshine on this first day of autumn...
Here's some suitable "Sunday Music" from our "house band":
We adore Postmodern Jukebox!
[For those of you (like me) who are unfamiliar with the "latest big thing" Chappell Roan - here's the original]
Another snippets post today, dear reader...
And the weather? Dank. Just in time for the clocks to go back, and the gloom of autumn to descend in earnest...
Another busy week draws to a close and, true to form after a beautiful sunny and warm week, it's gone quite gloomy and grey out there. The garden is inches deep in leaves, so I hope it doesn't rain before we have had a chance to get them swept up and into bin bags.
Never mind all that for the moment - we have a tradition to keep up to welcome in another much-needed weekend - a Celebration indeed! Albeit with a "McClintock twist"...
Thank Disco Mash-ups It's Friday!
Have a great weekend, dear reader!
“I do give really good Diva. On stage I Diva it to death.”
We were in the presence of a Goddess on Tuesday night, as Madam Acarti, Hils, History Boy, Our Sal and I were at our second theatrical event in a matter of days - for the imperial appearance of Dame Joan Collins live on stage in the suitably sumptuous Art Deco surroundings of the West End's Adelphi Theatre!
From an interview with the Grande Dame in The Standard:
MC-ed by her husband Percy Gibson, [Joan Collins: Behind the Shoulder Pads] opens with a film montage of everyone from Oprah Winfrey to Johnny Carson introducing her.“Then I come on, I say something witty, like ‘I’m Joan Collins’, and I launch into my life story, making it as amusing and interesting as I can, because everybody’s heard it a billion times.” After a break and a change into a new Amanda Wakeley or Jenny Packham gown there’s a Q&A with the audience. What’s the most surprising thing she’s been asked? “How do you put your false eyelashes on? And I said, I don’t wear false eyelashes any more. I don’t even wear mascara or eyeliner. They’ll ask about Dynasty, about the actors I worked with like John Gielgud, Nigel Hawthorne and Paul Newman. And they’ll often ask who was the best kisser.” And who was? “Paul Newman, of course!”
This offhand synopsis was, of course, her typically self-deprecating way of describing what was, in fact, a very illuminating and entertaining evening indeed.
With eight decades' worth of gossip in her portfolio we got little insights into everything in her long career, from RADA to the loathsome and predatory Daryl F. Zanuck and the "studio system", her friendships with the likes of Gene Kelly, Marlon Brando and Paul Newman, Elizabeth Taylor and Marilyn Monroe, the male co-stars she loathed (George Peppard and Tony Curtis got short shrift, and she obviously held no fondness for John Forsythe either), her marriages and children, the ups and downs of her screen career (from Queen of the Nile to The Opposite Sex, from Star Trek to Kingdom of the Ants, from The Stud to These Old Broads to American Horror Show) - with an obviously significant discussion of her absolute zenith as "Alexis" [Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan] in Dynasty.
Throughout the whole thing, she was (typically) self-confident and totally unflappable, and she looked utterly gorgeous and youthful despite her venerable age (91).
A totally fascinating and uber-camp evening's entertainment. We were, and we remain, in absolute awe...
There will never be another Dame Joan Collins!
The business-focused social media network LinkedIn has just begun an exciting new role rigging presidential elections in the United States. Click here to add your congratulations!LinkedIn’s previous role was as a social media network connecting employers and employees since 2002. Its key skills included email spamming and never allowing anyone to leave. Endorse them?
The networks’s new promotion came as a result of recruiting Labour party members to volunteer to influence US elections, contrary to guidance from the Federal Election Commission. Add your comment.
Joseph Turner, client director at WinHit Media, said: “I’ve worked with LinkedIn for years to paint an inaccurate picture of my skills and abilities for the duration of my professional life. I couldn’t be happier to see it mired in election meddling.
“When I wanted to bombard strangers with irrelevant contact requests, LinkedIn was there for me. It’s been proud to host my self-important posts about my B2B epiphanies. The corrupt US electoral landscape is lucky to have it.
“I can’t think of a better site to undermine the special relationship. No matter what it chooses to do, I’m sure its background in meaningless corporate bullshit will lend itself perfectly to toothless Western diplomacy.”
Keir Starmer, prime minister at UK PLC, said: “I recommend LinkedIn for recruitment and providing right-wing populists with excuses for electoral losses. My rivals use it.”
Of course.
Sondheim on Sondheim is a wonderful evening's entertainment that basically does exactly what it says on the tin - it's built around a series of clips from numerous documentaries, interviews and audio quotations from the "God" of the musical himself, describing his musical journey, the people who were integral to his development (his "adopted father figure" Oscar Hammerstein, estimable Broadway powerhouses such as Arthur Laurents, Jerome Robbins and Hal Prince, and the many writers who produced the libretto/"book" for his shows), and, most importantly the (often tortuous) evolution of some his best-known shows and the songs that eventually made the "cut" to become classics.
Meanwhile, on stage in the faded glamour of the venerable Alexandra Palace Theatre we were treated to a very fine ensemble cast indeed to perform some of those very hits and misses: Jenna Russell, Clive Rowe, Scarlet Strallen, Josefina Gabrielle, Jak Malone, Georgina Onuorah, Lucca Chadwick-Patel and (the rather cute) Jack Wolfe.
As Madam Arcati said, in conversation with two fellow Sondheimites outside while having a fag, it was "a great evening of entertainment and education."
And what of those numbers? Well, who knew that The Maestro's first musical hit for which he wrote both lyrics and music had not one, but two opening numbers dropped (Love Is in the Air and Forget War) before we eventually got the jolly toe-tapper Comedy Tonight? Or that the closing number of Company, the tearjerker Being Alive might well - had Sondheim not thrown out two previous versions Marry Me a Little and Happily Ever After - have never seen the light of day? From the same show, one of our "family favourites" Not Getting Married Today was a complete re-write of a number called The Wedding Is Off, and in Gypsy there was originally a song called Smile, Girls. Our cast sang 'em all!
The bulk of the show focused on songs from the shows that made his name (and a few that flopped first time around, like Passion, Anyone Can Whistle, Bounce/Road Show - that included Sondheim's first ever love duet between two men The Best Thing That Ever Happened - and Assassins) often with a "twist", including an unusual close-harmony version of Something's Coming from West Side Story, and a beautifully sung medley of Losing My Mind (from Follies) with Not a Day Goes By (from Merrily We Roll Along). Both shows were heavily featured throughout the show. Our duettists were Summer Strallen and Jenna Russell, but here's Miss Russell performing it with Rosalie Craig:
Just one of many moments that brought a tear to our eye.
Other highlights included Jack Wolfe's Finishing the Hat (from another heavily-featured show Sunday in the Park with George - from it, our first act closing number Sunday is another one that never fails to raise a tear), Clive Rowe's Epiphany (from Sweeney Todd), Children Will Listen (from Into The Woods), Miss Russell (again) on Send in the Clowns (A Little Night Music) ...
...and Josefina Gabrielle performing a song that Sondheim wrote specifically for Dame Diana Rigg to perform in the 1987 West End production of Follies (because he knew she was a better actress and singer than she was a dancer, so dropped The Story of Lucy and Jessie):
As one commenter out there on a message board [yes, people still use those, even in the age of social media] remarked: "It felt like a nice after-party/follow up to Old Friends, keeping the spirit alive all these months later!"
Despite the many shortcomings of the venue's slightly shambolic organisation, this was a stunner of a show - a perfect evening for any Stephen Sondheim fan! [Although this production was only a two-night run, I'm certain it'll pop up at another venue fairly soon.]
Sondheim on Sondheim on Wikipedia.
And, to finish, this:
Footnote:
Read more about the restoration of the Alexandra Palace Theatre, which only reopened after 80 years of neglect in 2018.
PS
The hectic social schedule continues...
Tonight, we're off to see a legend in conversation - none other than Dame Joan Collins!!!
"In a cabaret, it`s almost like being in your living room with friends coming in to visit, and you want to give them the best you have, all that's in you."
"My whole goal in life is to reach the person in some way. It may not happen on every song - it may happen with only one moment in a show. But I want to leave them with something that they'll remember, that they were touched by."
We have a centenary to celebrate today, dear reader - that of the marvellous Miss Julie Wilson, one of the last great cabaret artistes.
In a 1987 interview, Miss Wilson named Billie Holiday as her major influence. “No singer has ever moved me so much,” she said. “No one has ever had such pain and emotion in her singing. She is why I wear a gardenia in my hair every night.”
Writer Deborah Grace Winer in her book The Night and the Music called Wilson "the undisputed Queen of cabaret, the doyenne of the night chanteuses." Hers was a long road to that pinnacle in her career, however.
From her roots in Omaha, Nebraska, she emerged in the New York nightclub scene in the 40s, found stage fame in musicals in London's West End and on Broadway in the 50s and 60s (and appeared in couple of largely forgotten movies), then retired in the early 70s back to the Midwest to raise her family. It was not until the 1980s that Miss Wilson revived her cabaret career, and became the legendary performer of Sondheim, Porter and Weill standards so beloved of audiences at Michael’s, the Kaufman and the Algonquin. She had her comedic moments, too:
On Jack Paar's Tonight Show in the late '50s, guest host Arlene Francis discovered that Wilson was a yoga enthusiast and asked her to do a headstand."I was wearing this exquisite, sequinned gown from Neiman Marcus, but I figured I had the situation under control"
"Well, while I'm on my head - live on national television - my skirt came falling down right over my head. And I was only wearing pantyhose! They immediately cut to a commercial."
What a woman!
By way of a tribute she is with a pair of Sondheim/Stritchy classics:
I'll drink to that!
And here - on this Tacky Music Monday - is the "old broad" still being "bad" in her 80s...
We can only hope to be that fabulous at that age...
Julie May Wilson (21st October 1924 – 5th April 2015)
It might still be mild temperatures in London today, but the wind and rain are typically autumnal - and needless to say the spaces in the garden I cleared yesterday are once again covered in leaf slime...
Sigh.
Hey ho - Our Sal, Hils, History Boy, Madam Arcati and I are off to Ally Pally for Sondheim on Sondheim later, and, it being an early evening show we're gathering in the local Wood Green Wetherspoons for lunch. We make our own "silk purses out of sow's ears", as the saying goes!
Whenever the weather turns, our thoughts turn to jetting away from it all. And yes, we have booked our next jaunt to Spain - although we do have to wait until February for that. And we'll be flying EasyJet, not Quantas in the early 1970s, unfortunately:
It's been a while since we've wallowed in the cavorting of glamorous people in exotic locations, courtesy of the faboo Soft Tempo Lounge, has it not, dear reader? Note to self: must. do. this. more. often.
[Music: Peter Moore Orchestra - Sunday's Child]
Meet Juglans nigra, the eastern American Black Walnut tree. It's particularly stunning in autumn, especially in a country park or arboretum. But where is this one? In the back garden of a terraced house in Wood Green, overshadowing our, and several neighbouring gardens.
Why on earth would we call such a splendid specimen a "bastard weed tree" [an epithet usually reserved for the grubby and dastardly sycamores that overhang the other side of the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers]?
This!
Every year, the chore of clearing all this crap just gets worse...
Sigh. Here's something appropriate - and rather jolly - to take our minds off it:
What that boy can do with his carrot and bongos is amazing!
After the unseasonable warmth this week has brought, I awoke this morning to find a proper autumnal mist shrouding the garden. I thought that might be a sign of things to come, but happily the forecast for the impending weekend shows no sign of the temperature sliding back to "normal" October levels. Hoorah!
As my regular reader knows, I always look forward to weekends (no matter how fleeting they seem) - and this Sunday, a little gang of us is off to the delights of the historic and only recently-restored Alexandra Palace [aka "Ally Pally", the original home of the BBC] Theatre for a rare outing of the musical revue Sondheim on Sondheim.
Meanwhile, there's a party to plan!
Since tomorrow marks the 80th birthday of the "founder of Disco" himself Mr George McCrae, it would be curmudgeonly of me not to mark the occasion with two of his greatest hits:
Those trousers! Those collars! Those dancers! Thank Disco It's Friday!
Have a great one, peeps!
Another snippets post, dear reader:
[More over at the Dolores Delargo Towers Museum of Camp. Of course.]
And the weather? Unseasonably warm - it was 18C/64.4F last night!
The prime minister has asked the public if they really believe that he, a 62-year-old man who has spent his life in the legal profession, is a keen Swiftie.
Starmer pointed out that three-and-a-half hours of the Eras Tour was not and has never been his idea of an enjoyable evening and he would have much preferred to closely read policy documents before getting an early night.
He said: “I am a man of conviction. I am not a pathetic millennial man pretending mediocre country songwriting is ‘genius’ to impress Tinder dates.
“Do you seriously believe humming tunelessly along to songs I was entirely unfamiliar with while calculating how long it would take to get from Wembley to Downing Street was anything other than a dreary political duty?
“These tickets were not a gift. They were a karmic punishment. I admit I harboured hopes that a blue-light police escort might impart the virtues of alacrity to Ms Swift, but instead she added an extra medley to her acoustic set.
“When you’re in my position, watching Taylor Swift is like going to the Cenotaph Remembrance service. I’m not particularly excited to be there, but the tabloids will give me shit if I skip it.
“Now, if I’d been treated to VIP tickets to Kidderminster’s Museum of Carpet I would understand why the corruption alarm bells were ringing.”
Of course.
Happy 40th birthday today to one of my fave artists of recent times - Miss Jessie Ware!
She's one of those home-grown British artists who is critically lauded, brings crowds in to her live concerts, and is generally well-liked - but has never been a huge chart presence [not that what passes for "the charts" these days is actually meaningful in any particular way, as it counts shit like TikTok and Spotify "hits" as a gauge of success, rather than physical sales]. She's more "Paloma Faith" than "Little Mix", in effect.
I love her. Her vocals are good, her music is cheerful and catchy, and she looks like she knows how to have fun! And we like fun:
Brilliant, one and all!
Many happy returns, Jessica Lois "Jessie" Ware (born 15 October 1984)
And so, the joys of another working week begin...
Just as well we have the - ahem - glories of vintage Spanish cinema on this Tacky Music Monday to cheer us up, by way of a wake-up call!
Bewildering, to say the least.
Have a good week, folks...
["Soy la Vedette" roughly translates as "I am the star" in a combination of Spanish and French]
This has turned out to be very lazy weekend indeed. The weather's been a bit too murky for me to raise much enthusiasm for pottering in the garden, and basically I've just been monging around the house, listening to the radio, and recharging my batteries.
Time, methinks, for some "Sunday Music" to suit the mood, courtesy once more of our house band here at Dolores Delargo Towers...
Love it!
[Apparently, the original song was at #1 in the UK Charts for three weeks in 2010. Never heard it before in my life!]
This current "me-me-me" generation wasn't the first to create a weird "identity", it seems...
I can't imagine this chap demanding his own bloody flag, either!
Whew. The weekend's almost here! The skies are blue again (even if it's cold). Much to celebrate...
...so let's take a moment to enjoy those fabulous balls we used to hold - and Thank Disco Tin Tin It's Friday!
Have a great weekend, dear reader!
I know you love them as much as I do, dear reader, so it's another "snippets" post today:
Faboo!
PS And the [actual] weather? Definitely autumnal.
Boss asking 'Where do you see yourself in five years?' hoping to hear 'doing more work for less money'
A boss is hoping that his employee’s five year plan aligns with his own vision of an increased workload for decreased compensation.
Managing director Norman Steele is working on his team’s personal development plans and would like to see them be realistic and embrace a future of doing the work of three people for the pay of one.
He said: “I’ve had enough dreamers through these doors with their ‘I’d like to be head of department’ when there’s no budget for that.
“So we’ll have no ‘ready to take on a leadership role’ or ‘develop skills that align with our corporate mission’. We need them to knuckle down and eat shit for the foreseeable.
“It would be music to my ears if Ellie’s vision of the future was taking a pay cut, working through lunch every day, and picking up Sandra’s duties when she goes on maternity leave. That’s what I look for in an employee.
“If she’s ready to piss away the next half-decade in a dead-end job while ignoring the symptoms of burnout, I’m here for her. We’ll draw up a roadmap and hit those goals together. Failing that we’ll lose her in the restructure and hire a younger, cheaper drone.”
Ellie Shaw said: “I’m drowning in work, hate my colleagues and I’m struggling to pay rent. But five years of job security? Where do I sign?”
Of course.
You know you're getting old when...
...you find out that Joe Brown's little girl Sam was 60 years old yesterday!
She's worked with some of the biggest and the best musicians in the world in her time, including David Gilmour and Pink Floyd, Deep Purple, the Small Faces, Jimmy Page, Gary Moore, George Harrison, Nick Cave and, most enduringly, Jools Holland - but it is for this anthem for the jilted that we love her the most.
I absolutely, utterly adore this song...
All that I have is all that you've given me
Did you ever worry that I'd come to depend on you?
I gave you all the love I had in me
Now I find you've lied and I can't believe it's true
Wrapped in her arms I see you across the street
And I can't help but wonder if she knows what's going on
You talk of love but you don't know how it feels
When you realise that you're not the only one
Oh you'd better stop before you tear me all apart
You'd better stop before you go and break my heart
Ooh you'd better stop
Time after time I've tried to walk away
But it's not that easy when your soul is torn in two
So I just resign myself to it every day
Now all I can do is to leave it up to you
Oh you'd better stop before you tear me all apart
You'd better stop before you go and break my heart
Ooh you'd better stop
Stop if you love me
(You will remember)
Now's the time to be sorry
(That day forever)
I won't believe that you'd walk out on me
Oh you'd better stop before you tear me all apart
You'd better stop before you go and break my heart
Ooh you'd better stop!
Been there.
Samantha Brown (born 7th October 1964)
Why do these weekends go by so quickly? Some stupid "timey-wimey stuff", I suppose.
Anyhoo, despite the bitter resentment, the aches and pains, and the general ennui that greets the alarm going off at the beginning of another work week - on this Tacky Music Monday, thank heavens we have the effervescent Lola Falana and the tight-trouser-wearer Adriano Celentano (and their funky gals and safety gays) to take our minds off the situation...
Have a good week, dear reader.
After a flurry of activity in the garden yesterday in the sunshine, today's a much slower affair. It's gloomy and mizzly out there so gardening wouldn't be an option, and I had a verrrry long lie-in without missing anything much.
By way of some unusual "Sunday music" to match the mood, how about one of the quirkiest of bands that I stumbled across on radio recently?
From their own blurb:
Zum Roten Igel (which translates as "The Red Hedgehog") was the 19th century tavern in Vienna where Brahms, and before him, Schubert, would go to drink and smoke and make merry with their friends. They also heard the gypsies play there, and some of this music found its way into their writing. The band ZRI play uniquely re-imagined versions of [the classics], re-scored for a folk ensemble of its time.
You can imagine why I was intrigued...
It doesn't stop there, however - try this!
Faboo stuff.
I am aching in places I didn't even know could ache, having spent several fruitful hours in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers. Two full bin-bags of crap - mainly sycamore seeds and prunings - later, and I have barely scraped the surface (literally) of about one-third of what needs to be done...
On a different subject altogether, we're apparently in the middle of World Space Week (who knew?), so let's have a selection of suitably-themed songs for your delectation, shall we?
First up, an old, old favourite that I and my sister used to dance to way back in the early '80s at Lazers nightclub (RIP) in Newport:
A classic that simply had to be here:
From the sublime to the ridiculous...
And three bizarre examples from the kitsch end of the genre...
...ending up with Miss Sara Brightman and Hot Gossip and their timeless - ahem - classic I Lost My Heart To A Starship Trooper:
Strange new worlds, indeed.
Waves of relief are beginning to wash over me, as the scent of a weekend wafts tantalisingly in the air. The forecast doesn't look too bad, either - temps in the low 60s F and, importantly, no rain! - so there's every chance I might be able to embark on "phase 1" of clearing autumnal clag off the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers ["phase 2" will be once the bastard weed trees shed all their leaves in a few weeks' time]...
Meanwhile, let's plan the party! How about a House ("yeah, you know House!") classic to warm us up nicely? Until it was on BBC Radio 2's Dance Sounds of the 90s recently, I hadn't heard this one in years...
Thank Disco Jack It's Friday!
Have a good one, peeps!
Chris Lowe (65 years old tomorrow, 4th October)
George Peppard (1st October 1928 – 8th May 1994)
Jake Shears (born Jason F. Sellards, 3rd October 1978)
Clive Owen (60 years old today)
Guy Pearce (born 5 October 1967)
Yum, Yum.
