Wednesday, 23 October 2024

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The business-focused social media network LinkedIn has just begun an exciting new role rigging presidential elections in the United States. Click here to add your congratulations!

LinkedIn’s previous role was as a social media network connecting employers and employees since 2002. Its key skills included email spamming and never allowing anyone to leave. Endorse them?

The networks’s new promotion came as a result of recruiting Labour party members to volunteer to influence US elections, contrary to guidance from the Federal Election Commission. Add your comment.

Joseph Turner, client director at WinHit Media, said: “I’ve worked with LinkedIn for years to paint an inaccurate picture of my skills and abilities for the duration of my professional life. I couldn’t be happier to see it mired in election meddling.

“When I wanted to bombard strangers with irrelevant contact requests, LinkedIn was there for me. It’s been proud to host my self-important posts about my B2B epiphanies. The corrupt US electoral landscape is lucky to have it.

“I can’t think of a better site to undermine the special relationship. No matter what it chooses to do, I’m sure its background in meaningless corporate bullshit will lend itself perfectly to toothless Western diplomacy.”

Keir Starmer, prime minister at UK PLC, said: “I recommend LinkedIn for recruitment and providing right-wing populists with excuses for electoral losses. My rivals use it.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

[The "real" story]

6 comments:

  1. I love the fact that The Daily Mash is seen as a satirical site in the UK because here far too many MAGAs would accept it as gospel, sweetpea! xoxo

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    1. This is exactly why British humour and American humour can never, and will never be the same. We don't do wisecracks; we embrace irony and satire.

      Besides which, "humour" and "Trump supporters" are diametrical opposites by their very nature. If a person cannot understand that fanatical support for the "Ronald McDonald of politics" is inherently ludicrous, then they could never cope with anything more challenging in the way of "comedy" than YouTube videos of people falling over, or Adam Sandler. Jx

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  2. The American election is less than 2 weeks away and i am equal parts afraid of the possible results and so very eager to have this all over with.

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    1. We have our own shambolic leadership to deal with, without worrying too hard what happens over the pond. Nevertheless, the endless media coverage here of a foreign country's election has been tiresome, to say the least. Jx

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