Tuesday, 29 October 2024

Mud, mulch and slimy twigs

A loved-up couple are taking a gentle evening stroll through the mud, mulch and slimy twigs covering every path near their house.

Lauren Hewitt and Jack Brown went walking to enjoy the romance of autumn as well as risk going arse over tit and falling into a muddy puddle or prickly hedge.

Hewitt said: “We haven’t checked the weather forecast or worn appropriate clothing. I’ve got on a very expensive white cashmere jumper and Jack’s wearing brand new trainers.

“However, it’s great to get out in the crisp October air, and if that means potentially slipping on some wet leaves and sliding into a dirty stream, so be it.

“The autumnal aesthetic of the photos I’m planning on taking for Instagram won’t be as good if they feature Jack being put in an ambulance with a fractured tibia. But it would make a hilarious TikTok so it’s swings and roundabouts really.”

Brown said: “I’ve seriously considered proposing this evening. But if I kneel down, there’s a decent chance of sticking my knee in a pile of dog shit that’s been camouflaged by leaves. And I don’t love her that much.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Autumn: my most-loathed season of them all.

6 comments:

  1. Ah, yes. The dog poo thing. I saw Bitey doing one on the lawn yesterday but wasn't in a position to go out and bag it at the time. So, this morning found me carefully flicking aside the fallen leaves searching for his errant poo before getting the rake out!

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  2. We love the season for its warm soups and roasted root veg! As homebodies, we need little excuse to stay inside and curl up like book reading cats. We do have a nice treadmill though knowing full well that summer will come back eventually. If the seasons didn't change there wouldn't be less to look forward too. I try to appreciate each for what it is, even if you might have to kneel in poo. Ah well, the man can wait until Spring to propose. What's a few more months?

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    1. The "Season of Death" brings me no joy whatsoever. I mourn the decline of the garden. I hate the murk and the encroaching night. If I had the money and the available time to flee it all for six months and sit by a less grim sea than the North or the Atlantic, I would! Gladly. Jx

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    1. Oh, yes - just a few long, dreary months to go... Jx

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