Prince Harry has revealed his forthcoming memoir will mainly be about his sex life and shooting the Taliban, with a self-help bit at the end to keep the wife happy.
The memoir, which has the provisional title Prince of Pussy, will begin as Harry leaves Eton and cover his sexual exploits throughout his gap year, military service and general life as a randy playboy Royal the whole world was looking to bone.
He said: “I do fill in other biographical details – for example, I mention that I came up with the idea of the Invictus Games in Colorado knobbing this truly spectacular American chick, boobs as big as your head – but only as background.
“Basically it’s shagging, shagging, Army, shagging, Army etc. And during the Army bits I flashback to previous shags because I don’t want to bore the reader.
“It’s all in here: Chelsy Davy, Cressida Bonas, that blonde piece out of the Saturdays, the six strippers I played pool with in Vegas. And a few surprising revelations, ie Cat Deeley and Katy Perry.
“I was inspired by looking down at my cock in the shower and thinking ‘it deserves to speak its truth’.”
He added: “And there’s self-help stuff for Oprah. Though frankly I think she’ll be more interested in the time Michelle and I hooked up when Barack’s back was turned.”
Of course.
“I was inspired by looking down at my cock in the shower and thinking ‘it deserves to speak its truth’.” - Is there a chapter where he hits the free clinic to get tested? Just wondering.
ReplyDeleteSurprised he didn't name the baby "Chlamydia"... Jx
Delete♫Chlamydia, oh Chlamydia, say have you met Chlamydia?♫
Delete♫Chlamydia the tattooed lady!♫
DeleteJx
Ha,ha,ha. Hilarious! Since I don't know them personally and they're younger than me, they'll always be the sad little boys who lost a wonderful mom, first and foremost in my mind.
ReplyDeleteIf only she were around - Harry might not have gone so far as to leave the Royal Family. Jx
DeleteThe only Prince Harry for me is Tom Durant-Pritchard's version (sorry for the long clip - it was the only one that features Tom-Harry, but is worth it for Pippa at the end) in The Windsors (Richard Goulding's original Harry was the best, but I'd rather be one of Tom/Harry's shags).
ReplyDeleteNah. This is the best Harry looky-likey... Jx
DeleteChrist! What a fright!
DeleteHe made that ginger rhyming slang go right out the window!
ReplyDeleteYou mean "Ginger beer" = "Queer"?
DeleteOh, there's loads of those... The funny thing is that people don't even realise that Any Old Iron is a song about being compared to a "dapper" gay man! Jx
I agree with Mr Devine re The Windsors - such a good send up and it made me warm to Camilla!
ReplyDeleteSx
I never watched it, but somehow I doubt even a comedy series would make me warm to her... Jx
DeleteHonestly, it probably would!! It's really good - and gets better and better.
DeleteSx
Oh, Camilla is a scream! She'd make a top-notch pantomime/Disney villain. I think you'd really like her, Jon. And, as with Ms Scarlet, I've warmed to the real Camilla because of her "The Windsors" version, too - after all, there's no way Real Camilla could be that power-grabbing and evil. Is there...?
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