A woman's face has suffered irreparable structural damage due to the insupportable weight of her false eyelashes.
Lauren Hewitt, aged 22, had plastered her face with thick layers of foundation to try and bolster the eyelashes but the entirety of her face has now fallen in.
Dr Helen Archer, a consultant at A&E, said: “The foundation initially provided a structural counterbalance to the eyelashes, which were each two inches long and weighed 50g.
“That’s 49g more than eyelashes should weigh. But her chunky earrings, hair extensions and shitloads of dark-toned eyebrow gel only tipped things further. A thick layer of VolumeCare+ mascara was the final straw.
“She survived three hours but when she finally had to blink her face imploded under the pressure. We’ve managed to reconstruct it to some extent, but she’ll be looking out from behind scaffolding for the next six months.
“Let this be a warning to other young women. No matter how much you want to resemble a startled pony, wearing lashes thick enough to roll a bowling bowl down has consequences.”
An unrepentant Hewitt said: “Yeah, so the doctor’s just jealous? Of how gorgeous I look?”
Of course.
Less is more!
ReplyDeleteI do worry about how these bright young things are going to age - especially the ones who go to Turkey to get their teeth filed down for enamels - those enamels don't last forever. They are going to look shocking when they hit 50, but we won't be around to say: I told you so!
Sx
By far the worst is the sight of a young woman who has had the "trout pout" (lip fillers) - I often think "she's going to look like Droopy when she's older". Oh, the horror! Jx
DeleteThat's me now!!! I wish I could firm up the jowls without doing anything drastic.
DeleteSx
Ha! Jx
DeleteWe could try fastening a jumbo rubber band around our heads for the jowls. Although I suppose it might wreak havoc with one's circulation.
DeleteAvailable on Amazon... Jx
Delete"The trout pout" I knew there had to be a name for that!
ReplyDelete"Nature gives you the face you have at twenty. Life shapes the face you have at thirty. But at fifty you get the face you deserve." - Coco Chanel
DeleteOr in the case of the trout pout, the face that nobody deserves. Or needs to look at. Jx
Why strive for ugliness? Because that's what it is. UGLINESS. Silly little white girls whose jaw is nowhere near big enough to accommodate the new look.Bah! Humbug
DeleteI've yet to see anyone who actually looks better for having fillers. It is remarkable that these girls can actually look in the mirror and say to themselves "what an improvement"! Jx
DeleteI love the "startled pony" bit in the title! Ha,ha,ha. More like two moths mating on her face. I think she's trying to attract the wrong species.
ReplyDeleteBugger only knows who that look is supposed to attract! Jx
DeleteWhy do they do that ? they should be like us, and -
ReplyDelete"Watch the mirror, count the lines
The battle scars of all the good times"
One of my favourite lyrics, ever! Marc Almond is always right. Jx
DeleteIf they're going to look like drag queens, they should at least try to look like GOOD ones.
ReplyDeleteI fear that stream of tawdry attention-seekers on "Drag Race" has had an influence. A good drag queen has talent, and never uses inferior materials for her maquillage. Jx
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