Malice

The Sun is proudly surveying yet another brilliant piece of journalism that has benefited the whole nation.

The newspaper behind a whole series of scoops that have made Britain the country it is today is looking back over another story that proved to be largely false with a sense of inner satisfaction.

Journalist Julian Cook, whose family no longer speak to him, said: “The police said he’s done nothing illegal and he’s in hospital. Happy with that.

“Nothing gets you out of bed in the morning like thinking ‘Hey, I could ruin some lives today.’ Especially when it’s a much-loved news presenter with a history of severe depression, so you have to admit he deserved it.

“Does it live up to the triumphs of our past like smearing the Hillsborough dead, the entirely untrue Elton John rent boy revelations, and a decade of phone-hacking? I like to think so.

“People say ‘they’re only doing it to sell papers’. Well they’re the pricks, because sales are plummeting and have been for years. We’re in this because we still believe sheer malice can make a difference.

“Hmm, I vaguely fancy that actress. What? She’s only 19 and vaguely left-wing? Right, lads. Let’s fucking destroy her.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.